A Mask

My name is Guy Garrison.

I am a nobody. Well, nobody I would like to be. Plain, plain as the cruel God above would have me be. Without any special talent. Absent of any remarkable ability. I am not the beating heart of any party. I bring not the light of the rising sun. I am simply here. Insufferably, obnoxiously, here.

I wake up. I accept the sin of life. I pretend for my family. I attend school. I socialise. The last bell rings. I return home. I rest. I wake up. A cycle. A hand on a clock. The notion of routine simply maddening.

There is only one aspect of my life that keeps me sane – if that is appropriate a word to use. It is the fact that I am insane. Surely that is paradoxical! Yet can one be aware of one’s own insanity? Can I know that I am probably – most definitely – mad? Or am I of some modicum of sane thought to examine the possibility that I may be…too sane? Hmm. Super sane.

My head is a cloud. The outside world is vast and senseless. My colleagues and classmates and teachers and friends are nought but an obligation to me. I want something more for myself, but I am not worthy of more. I am flesh. I am moving parts stripped of purpose. I am without identity.

I am only ever whole in the safe, quiet darkness of the night; through one single secret. My sweet, sweet secret, hidden in a pit.

In a man-made hole in my wall, buried beyond my belongings, is a mask.

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Why Do We Blame Victims?

Wow, it’s been quite a long time since I last made a post. I suppose it’s been that time of the semester where everything is really busy, and my writing has taken a bit of a backseat to unwinding sessions with games and series. Nevertheless I’ve been toying with a befuddling (to say the least) topic in my head for a while now, and it’s the concept of victim blaming. This is not exactly anything new, but it’s a frustration of mine that I have observed countless times as well as studied formally in psychology, and after doing extended reading on the subject matter I decided to write about it for the purposes of debate.

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Why Instant Gratification Is Dangerous

If you aim to be a self-published author or artist, or to enter any solo venture for that matter, it is important to understand the importance of managing expectations and the concept of reward and gratification. I spoke at length about managing expectations and dealing with demotivation in a previous post, and today I want to build on that by focusing more on the dangers of instant gratification, and teaching (even subconsciously) your brain to expect that. What is instant gratification? Well put simply gratification is that sense of happiness and elation you feel upon winning or reaching a goal or obtaining a desire, and by extension instant gratification is the immediate reward of that feeling. Put in the simplest of terms, expecting instant gratification is basically thinking that if you do something you should see positive results or get a reward for it. This thinking can apply almost anywhere, whether it’s in your job, your personal solo venture, your relationship with your partner or even just your belief structures, and it’s vital to understand the problems it can lead to.

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